NEWS

:: Alfresco Monday starts outside, then inside because cigarettes were finished and it was cold.

:: First-timer Sheppy got schooled with the rules fast, he was told he wasn't allowed hot chocolate (see rules) and got told off for eating mini cheddars before finishing his pint of coke.

:: When going inside, the regular table was taken!!! Relocated to a table with "I need pussy" graffiti'd on it. Luke Holloway is looking into who put it there....

:: Sheppy "reads" David Beckhams book at the table. Although probably just looked at the pictures.

:: Pestle and mortar genitals - unwanted friction.

:: MONDAY QUOTE: "Never try to fuck a shark."

:: MONDAY QUOTE: "It's all fannygas."

:: CHRIS KELLY BECOMES A VETERAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations big man, hell of an effort with the dirty pint which consisted of: 1/2 a pint of Tuborg, small glass of red wine, Morgan's Spiced Rum, Johnnie Walker Black Label, Bombay Sapphire, Ray and Nephew, a crumbled up Polo mint and some peanuts. Good Lad. NICKNAME TO FOLLOW.

:: NEW RULE: If you are working towards becoming a veteran but HAVE to miss a Monday for a holiday etc., a photograph of you with a drink in one hand, and that day's paper in the other will be sufficient evidence to warrant a freeze of 'Mondays-in-a-row-Attended'. Therefore on your return you can pick up where you left off.

:: P-P-P-PICKLEFACE P-P-PICKLEFACE!

:: 10:38pm, regular table frees up! YAAY!

::Saville now called "Small Face." Chris Kelly on the other hand has a regular sized head but an enormous face. And moose hair.

:: Luke's nipple looks like a mouse's nose.

:: Newbie Sheppy votes Monkey Butler.

:: Falex says, after a curry, put a toilet roll in the fridge over night for the resultant "hot poos" it's a life saver!

SEE YOU NEXT TIME!