5 July 2010
NEWS
The long awaited NEWS IS HERE.
This week, a new way of recording the news was attempted. Namely, recording it. The following is a transcript of the various reports that were made throughout the evening.
Part I
Guy: 5th July 2010 8 o'clock, Monday Club News.
Gingers do not reply to texts. More from me later.
From before that we had "Kinder Egg Fury" (where an ingenious game involving kinder egg toy holders were bounced into pint glasses).
Matt: Uhhhm... Ben called Spackman 'Orange' to his face... just horrible.
<<>>
Guy: Chocolate and Chips: the wise man's choice
Part II
Guy: DoggyB is in New'astle...like
Part III
Guy: NO NEW NEWS... as of yet
Guy: 9pm BOWG has left. It was witnessed by... a number of people. there was an awed silence.
Guy: Falex is getting fresh with Beca Brown... uhm, when Spackman is not around... which is... [muffled voice]... I beg your pardon? [muffled voice] Falex has also forgotten his name.
Guy: RAVE OF WACISM...Wait no wait... Wave of Racism Sweeps through Monday Club and is GONE. HOPEFULLY. Ps. Chris Ashbolt started it. The Raves of Wacism.
Part IV: There was an altercation involving a drunken woman and her refusal to leave the Savoy. Mole witnessed all and described the scene as a RUCKUS.
Lucy describes the new style of taking the news as "Hi-Tech" most people agreed.
Mole: Next week: Bundy to Monday?
Falex wants to play quidditch. The Loser.
The lad who climbed walls with hoovers (and was 10 years old) was discussed.
Guy: Luke can play the bottles hoohahoohoohoo
Guy: Mole has no friends
Guy: Mole did a gay dance
Mole: Proudly
Spackman is bad at games. Really bad at games.
Mole: SHAME ON YOU
Martin Hall: Mole is looking very good tonight
Lucy: Mole's other name is Mole
THERE IS A MONDAY CLUB TWITTER which has apparently been in existence for months but its creator, Martin Hall decided to keep to himself.
Falex wished it to be known this this was not news to him.
Flying elephants seem to be the favourite.
==========Nathan's Corner=========
"Chris's ponytail is still really gay... and Nathan's penis is still really massive"
"Ironically, the news has not been true since 1963"
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