NEWS

The simmer is building around Guy's emigration, thoughts are of a Mexican theme for next week with potential Tequila-based repercussions.

Also for next week: SECRET SANTA prep.

The 'Blue Monday' theme was suavely acknowledged. Muted clothing kept spirits smooth.

This atypical aura of sophistication was enhanced by the proliferation of BOW. Can we see, in BOWG, some grey future steadily creeping towards us?

Nathan reveals his barbarous ancestry by not adhering to the measurements specified on the GOW.

Wine soaked salivations dappled the sticky table-top as we meditated on MILF, following Bundy's diaphragm expansion technique. The conclusion was that life is made of carbon, which is a German beer (?), and that the unfilmed episodes of the Star Wars space opera are more interesting than sex. This is why Buddhists go bald.

The unspoken fantasy provoked by Martin's continental adventures was a Monday Club opera trip. As long as it is not to Evita because the Argies have it in for us.

"Don't cry for me, Mexico"

Bundy, in her role as landscape artist, lays down detailed plans for the conversion of Britain's beaches from irritating sand and salt water to luxurious grass and concrete. "Even mud is better than sand" --one of her many pearls of wisdom.

"Bundy rhymes with Munday" --less pearly wisdom.

PIMM'S O'CLOCK was triumphantly announced by Chris Ashbolt. Refreshment abounded.

Sean Haines is considered for "Monday's Whitest Man", or "Squarest Honky on The Block". Then we realised he is probably one of the least white people at Monday Club, which bodes ill for the rest of us.

Old Rosie remains the supreme drink of Monday.

There was more but, for now, the rest is silence...dirty silence.