- Doggie B came dressed for a funeral. BeNP has never been to one. Matt says they are a party. Dibs on the widow.
- Disneyland sweets courtesy of Bundy.
- Chris has a half pint in a pint glass, filled with ice and fruit to appear like a full man pint. Still a vaginal pint.
- Loadsa womens at Monday. (Monday Clunge)
- Teen wolf carpet arms.
- Lop sided Buddy Holly.
- Muffins galore.
- Rizzle McGrissle.
- Doggie B still has a fax machine.
- Faxy B.
- Luke's nipple still looks like a mouse's nose.
- Pogs.
- Hot drink at Monday! Again! Words were had. They were ignored.
- Becca and Savlar are dole buddies.
- Doggie B can tie a tie. Riotous applause.
- EFFORTS!!!!
- Two half pints of Carlsberg are 1p more expensive than one pint.
- Doggie B invited Luke to his ranch.
- Ranchy B.
- Doggie B looks like David Brent from The Office.
- Doggie Brent.
- Al Murray at Monday.
- Chris is Neil from the Inbetweeners.
- Phone sex. Vibratinz.
- Dogback Mountain.
27 September 2010
20 September 2010
NEWS
-- BeNP + John Monday are not MEN!! (Jon ordered fruit Kopparberg + is less manly than Ben + most women [Guinness is manliest, but 'tis no Old Rosie])
-- Doggie B got a text
-- (Then got beaten up in Park North for his pizza after opening his window to a comely chav)
-- From now on he will be known as 'Dogging B'.
-- Chrisps' belated birthday Monday Club. 23 yesterday. Elderly. But buff nuff.
-- Matt is buying a horse that he hasn't seen. He has a cake to well. (Trowel?)
-- Next Monday is : - ' NO CAR MONDAY ' (According to D. Biscuits)
-- Chocolate fudge cake is confirmed as THE Monday food.
-- Matt cuts his own cool. Probably cuts his own hair too.
-- Curry B.
-- Nelson Mandela directed Kidulthood.
- Anon. in shock: "Are you eating mayonnaise by itself??"
- Jake in poverty: "Yeah."
- Luke in mirth: "And you call me saucy..."
- Bundy in despair: "At least put some ketchup with it!!"
-- Jake drinks six sachets of vinegar, says "I like it" afterwards.
-- Exception to Monday rule discussed with regards to Bundy's veterancy. This will now take place during an unspecified BUNDAY CLUB.
-- Meal to celebrate the life + times of . . . . . BUNDAY!
[Big gap for illegible 'Old Rosie' scrawl]
--- Doggy will become a shit Elvis Presley impersonator.
-- Chrisps hits on moody women.
-- Jake 'the plank' Monday: "Why the long face, Chrisps?"
-- Thoughts are of a Monday festival trip. Bruno behind the bar, "I'll come to Glastonbury with you as long as it doesn't interfere with Monday Club."
Overall, a great Monday considering low expectations for attendance. Account of the news more faithful to the notes than usual. And thank you for the lift, Doggin' Biscuits!
"Orange is the colour of madness"
-- Doggie B got a text
-- (Then got beaten up in Park North for his pizza after opening his window to a comely chav)
-- From now on he will be known as 'Dogging B'.
-- Chrisps' belated birthday Monday Club. 23 yesterday. Elderly. But buff nuff.
-- Matt is buying a horse that he hasn't seen. He has a cake to well. (Trowel?)
-- Next Monday is : - ' NO CAR MONDAY ' (According to D. Biscuits)
-- Chocolate fudge cake is confirmed as THE Monday food.
-- Matt cuts his own cool. Probably cuts his own hair too.
-- Curry B.
-- Nelson Mandela directed Kidulthood.
- Anon. in shock: "Are you eating mayonnaise by itself??"
- Jake in poverty: "Yeah."
- Luke in mirth: "And you call me saucy..."
- Bundy in despair: "At least put some ketchup with it!!"
-- Jake drinks six sachets of vinegar, says "I like it" afterwards.
-- Exception to Monday rule discussed with regards to Bundy's veterancy. This will now take place during an unspecified BUNDAY CLUB.
-- Meal to celebrate the life + times of . . . . . BUNDAY!
[Big gap for illegible 'Old Rosie' scrawl]
--- Doggy will become a shit Elvis Presley impersonator.
-- Chrisps hits on moody women.
-- Jake 'the plank' Monday: "Why the long face, Chrisps?"
-- Thoughts are of a Monday festival trip. Bruno behind the bar, "I'll come to Glastonbury with you as long as it doesn't interfere with Monday Club."
Overall, a great Monday considering low expectations for attendance. Account of the news more faithful to the notes than usual. And thank you for the lift, Doggin' Biscuits!
"Orange is the colour of madness"
13 September 2010
NEWS
- Monday mourns the loss of many members to uni/work. It is the hardy few who remain.
- It was decided that 20th December is dedicated CHRISTMAS MONDAY with a pre-booked xmas meal at the Savoy. More details to come.
- Chris Kelly returns! He is an unsuitable P.E. learning, unemployed version of his brother. His brother probably has a massive penis, although unusually tiny feet for a man of his size.
- 2 x Bruno behind the bar.
- BOWG has a friend, in shorts. He also ordered a chicken gourmet burger. This was considered controversial.
- Cum is just food for sperm, which weezes as it dies.
- Cumming like a hose is not natural.
- Luke bums Leonardo Di Caprio.
- Jake is now named 'Jake Monday' as we only see him on
a monday.
- It is feared that Doggy's household have got stuck in the 1980's as they possess a fax machine. It is rumoured that they all own shit wigs and listen to ABBA.
- It was decided that 20th December is dedicated CHRISTMAS MONDAY with a pre-booked xmas meal at the Savoy. More details to come.
- Chris Kelly returns! He is an unsuitable P.E. learning, unemployed version of his brother. His brother probably has a massive penis, although unusually tiny feet for a man of his size.
- 2 x Bruno behind the bar.
- BOWG has a friend, in shorts. He also ordered a chicken gourmet burger. This was considered controversial.
- Cum is just food for sperm, which weezes as it dies.
- Cumming like a hose is not natural.
- Luke bums Leonardo Di Caprio.
- Jake is now named 'Jake Monday' as we only see him on
a monday.
- It is feared that Doggy's household have got stuck in the 1980's as they possess a fax machine. It is rumoured that they all own shit wigs and listen to ABBA.
6 September 2010
NEWS
Trendy newbies jump on the Monday bandwagon only to fall off long before last orders. Deadly Psychic Monday powers were directed at them. Matt got defensive at the stroke of 9, hastening their demise. The one up, one down game proved beyond their collective intellect.
They were:
Beads, Ginger, Stripey and Denim Shirt. They are in a band together. Beads "the biggest dickhead" failed to down a small glass of Pimm's and cried. The under aged Ginger (17) had to be dragged out of the toilets where he was slumped in his own vomit singing "I'm a Little Tea Pot". Lee instructs him to "Fly your Nimbus 2000 home Ron Weaslie". The episode just goes to show that you don't bring 12 year olds to the pub. Stripey is from Manchester; "Why are you from Manchester?" (Lee)Denim Shirt swallowed a 2 pence piece and we decided not to clean our teeth with our jeans.
JAEGER-TWAT PIMM'S-O-CLOCK
"My hair is the black bit of my black albino body"
After the kids klub krew were defeated, Monday took to the streets of Swindon town, where we got rained on and watched the big screen hum and emit strange electromagnetic frequencies. Once again Monday doesn't end until well after three in the morning.
Bundy took most of the notes as she is "the best at writing and everyone loves Bundy + Annie + Michelle at Monday Club! xxx"
They were:
Beads, Ginger, Stripey and Denim Shirt. They are in a band together. Beads "the biggest dickhead" failed to down a small glass of Pimm's and cried. The under aged Ginger (17) had to be dragged out of the toilets where he was slumped in his own vomit singing "I'm a Little Tea Pot". Lee instructs him to "Fly your Nimbus 2000 home Ron Weaslie". The episode just goes to show that you don't bring 12 year olds to the pub. Stripey is from Manchester; "Why are you from Manchester?" (Lee)Denim Shirt swallowed a 2 pence piece and we decided not to clean our teeth with our jeans.
JAEGER-TWAT PIMM'S-O-CLOCK
"My hair is the black bit of my black albino body"
After the kids klub krew were defeated, Monday took to the streets of Swindon town, where we got rained on and watched the big screen hum and emit strange electromagnetic frequencies. Once again Monday doesn't end until well after three in the morning.
Bundy took most of the notes as she is "the best at writing and everyone loves Bundy + Annie + Michelle at Monday Club! xxx"
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