NEWS

Trendy newbies jump on the Monday bandwagon only to fall off long before last orders. Deadly Psychic Monday powers were directed at them. Matt got defensive at the stroke of 9, hastening their demise. The one up, one down game proved beyond their collective intellect.

They were:

Beads, Ginger, Stripey and Denim Shirt. They are in a band together. Beads "the biggest dickhead" failed to down a small glass of Pimm's and cried. The under aged Ginger (17) had to be dragged out of the toilets where he was slumped in his own vomit singing "I'm a Little Tea Pot". Lee instructs him to "Fly your Nimbus 2000 home Ron Weaslie". The episode just goes to show that you don't bring 12 year olds to the pub. Stripey is from Manchester; "Why are you from Manchester?" (Lee)Denim Shirt swallowed a 2 pence piece and we decided not to clean our teeth with our jeans.

JAEGER-TWAT PIMM'S-O-CLOCK

"My hair is the black bit of my black albino body"

After the kids klub krew were defeated, Monday took to the streets of Swindon town, where we got rained on and watched the big screen hum and emit strange electromagnetic frequencies. Once again Monday doesn't end until well after three in the morning.

Bundy took most of the notes as she is "the best at writing and everyone loves Bundy + Annie + Michelle at Monday Club! xxx"