NEWS

-- BeNP + John Monday are not MEN!! (Jon ordered fruit Kopparberg + is less manly than Ben + most women [Guinness is manliest, but 'tis no Old Rosie])

-- Doggie B got a text

-- (Then got beaten up in Park North for his pizza after opening his window to a comely chav)

-- From now on he will be known as 'Dogging B'.

-- Chrisps' belated birthday Monday Club. 23 yesterday. Elderly. But buff nuff.

-- Matt is buying a horse that he hasn't seen. He has a cake to well. (Trowel?)

-- Next Monday is : - ' NO CAR MONDAY ' (According to D. Biscuits)

-- Chocolate fudge cake is confirmed as THE Monday food.

-- Matt cuts his own cool. Probably cuts his own hair too.

-- Curry B.

-- Nelson Mandela directed Kidulthood.

- Anon. in shock: "Are you eating mayonnaise by itself??"
- Jake in poverty: "Yeah."
- Luke in mirth: "And you call me saucy..."
- Bundy in despair: "At least put some ketchup with it!!"

-- Jake drinks six sachets of vinegar, says "I like it" afterwards.

-- Exception to Monday rule discussed with regards to Bundy's veterancy. This will now take place during an unspecified BUNDAY CLUB.

-- Meal to celebrate the life + times of . . . . . BUNDAY!

[Big gap for illegible 'Old Rosie' scrawl]

--- Doggy will become a shit Elvis Presley impersonator.

-- Chrisps hits on moody women.

-- Jake 'the plank' Monday: "Why the long face, Chrisps?"

-- Thoughts are of a Monday festival trip. Bruno behind the bar, "I'll come to Glastonbury with you as long as it doesn't interfere with Monday Club."

Overall, a great Monday considering low expectations for attendance. Account of the news more faithful to the notes than usual. And thank you for the lift, Doggin' Biscuits!

"Orange is the colour of madness"