10 October 2010
4 October 2010
NEWS
- Posh News this week - it was written on a childrens menu inside a fancy frame thing. Posh.
- Random heathens in our seats! Mondayers have to relocated 8 feet to the right. Much grumbling.
- Said heathens all got food before finishing their first drink. Monday sacrilege.
- Faxy B likes scatter cushions. He claims to have cushions aplenty in his love dungeon.
- All except Chris and Jon Monday enjoy watching X Factor. Chris said it makes him envy people who are blind and deaf.
- Rachel Adedeji!
- Welsh word for 'microwave' = "pop da ping!"
- Teen wolf carpet arms has got hairier. It's on her hands now.
- Doggie B talks about cars every 45 seconds.
- BeNP gets pennied and refuses to down it. Pussyole.
- BeNP is all about hairy armed girls. As in girls who have hairy arms. Not girls who are hairy and armed.
- After much bullying, BeNP finally downs his pennied pint.
- Spacky desire.
- Heathens leave - original table reclaimed.
- Luke looks like Kim Jong Il.
- Matt gags on a giant chip. No homo.
- Bundog Millionaire.
- Luke heard that some kid can pull his ballbag out of his pocket.
- 'Bring a cake' Monday to be future event?
- Rizzle McCrizzle was "one of the best runners in school, and was in some of the top sets too" according to Lee Davey. (Lee was not present at Monday, RM had bumped into him at the weekend)
- People play Hackysack in Santa Barbara. They do it outside of New College sometimes too.
- Bundy draws Monday Club as an entry to the children's drawing competition. The entry is declined due to casual racism and scenes of a sexual nature.
- Ballcuzzis are discussed at length.
- Jake Monday's veterancy today! Will he pass the dirty pint challenge?
- Jake's veterancy pint:
~ 1/2 pint Carlsberg
~ Jack Daniels
~ Baileys
~ Aftershock (Blue)
~ Gordons Gin
~ Ray & Nephew
~ Vinegar
~ Mayonnaise
~ Tabasco
- One of the worst veterancy pints ever, but he successfully downs it.
Jake Monday is now a Veteran.
...
Three cheers for Bundog Millionaire who is going around the world in a coracle with only Doggin' Biscuits and some scatter cushions for company. We will therefore remember this Monday as
'Bring A Cake Boonday'
- Random heathens in our seats! Mondayers have to relocated 8 feet to the right. Much grumbling.
- Said heathens all got food before finishing their first drink. Monday sacrilege.
- Faxy B likes scatter cushions. He claims to have cushions aplenty in his love dungeon.
- All except Chris and Jon Monday enjoy watching X Factor. Chris said it makes him envy people who are blind and deaf.
- Rachel Adedeji!
- Welsh word for 'microwave' = "pop da ping!"
- Teen wolf carpet arms has got hairier. It's on her hands now.
- Doggie B talks about cars every 45 seconds.
- BeNP gets pennied and refuses to down it. Pussyole.
- BeNP is all about hairy armed girls. As in girls who have hairy arms. Not girls who are hairy and armed.
- After much bullying, BeNP finally downs his pennied pint.
- Spacky desire.
- Heathens leave - original table reclaimed.
- Luke looks like Kim Jong Il.
- Matt gags on a giant chip. No homo.
- Bundog Millionaire.
- Luke heard that some kid can pull his ballbag out of his pocket.
- 'Bring a cake' Monday to be future event?
- Rizzle McCrizzle was "one of the best runners in school, and was in some of the top sets too" according to Lee Davey. (Lee was not present at Monday, RM had bumped into him at the weekend)
- People play Hackysack in Santa Barbara. They do it outside of New College sometimes too.
- Bundy draws Monday Club as an entry to the children's drawing competition. The entry is declined due to casual racism and scenes of a sexual nature.
- Ballcuzzis are discussed at length.
- Jake Monday's veterancy today! Will he pass the dirty pint challenge?
- Jake's veterancy pint:
~ 1/2 pint Carlsberg
~ Jack Daniels
~ Baileys
~ Aftershock (Blue)
~ Gordons Gin
~ Ray & Nephew
~ Vinegar
~ Mayonnaise
~ Tabasco
- One of the worst veterancy pints ever, but he successfully downs it.
Jake Monday is now a Veteran.
...
Three cheers for Bundog Millionaire who is going around the world in a coracle with only Doggin' Biscuits and some scatter cushions for company. We will therefore remember this Monday as
'Bring A Cake Boonday'
27 September 2010
NEWS
- Doggie B came dressed for a funeral. BeNP has never been to one. Matt says they are a party. Dibs on the widow.
- Disneyland sweets courtesy of Bundy.
- Chris has a half pint in a pint glass, filled with ice and fruit to appear like a full man pint. Still a vaginal pint.
- Loadsa womens at Monday. (Monday Clunge)
- Teen wolf carpet arms.
- Lop sided Buddy Holly.
- Muffins galore.
- Rizzle McGrissle.
- Doggie B still has a fax machine.
- Faxy B.
- Luke's nipple still looks like a mouse's nose.
- Pogs.
- Hot drink at Monday! Again! Words were had. They were ignored.
- Becca and Savlar are dole buddies.
- Doggie B can tie a tie. Riotous applause.
- EFFORTS!!!!
- Two half pints of Carlsberg are 1p more expensive than one pint.
- Doggie B invited Luke to his ranch.
- Ranchy B.
- Doggie B looks like David Brent from The Office.
- Doggie Brent.
- Al Murray at Monday.
- Chris is Neil from the Inbetweeners.
- Phone sex. Vibratinz.
- Dogback Mountain.
- Disneyland sweets courtesy of Bundy.
- Chris has a half pint in a pint glass, filled with ice and fruit to appear like a full man pint. Still a vaginal pint.
- Loadsa womens at Monday. (Monday Clunge)
- Teen wolf carpet arms.
- Lop sided Buddy Holly.
- Muffins galore.
- Rizzle McGrissle.
- Doggie B still has a fax machine.
- Faxy B.
- Luke's nipple still looks like a mouse's nose.
- Pogs.
- Hot drink at Monday! Again! Words were had. They were ignored.
- Becca and Savlar are dole buddies.
- Doggie B can tie a tie. Riotous applause.
- EFFORTS!!!!
- Two half pints of Carlsberg are 1p more expensive than one pint.
- Doggie B invited Luke to his ranch.
- Ranchy B.
- Doggie B looks like David Brent from The Office.
- Doggie Brent.
- Al Murray at Monday.
- Chris is Neil from the Inbetweeners.
- Phone sex. Vibratinz.
- Dogback Mountain.
20 September 2010
NEWS
-- BeNP + John Monday are not MEN!! (Jon ordered fruit Kopparberg + is less manly than Ben + most women [Guinness is manliest, but 'tis no Old Rosie])
-- Doggie B got a text
-- (Then got beaten up in Park North for his pizza after opening his window to a comely chav)
-- From now on he will be known as 'Dogging B'.
-- Chrisps' belated birthday Monday Club. 23 yesterday. Elderly. But buff nuff.
-- Matt is buying a horse that he hasn't seen. He has a cake to well. (Trowel?)
-- Next Monday is : - ' NO CAR MONDAY ' (According to D. Biscuits)
-- Chocolate fudge cake is confirmed as THE Monday food.
-- Matt cuts his own cool. Probably cuts his own hair too.
-- Curry B.
-- Nelson Mandela directed Kidulthood.
- Anon. in shock: "Are you eating mayonnaise by itself??"
- Jake in poverty: "Yeah."
- Luke in mirth: "And you call me saucy..."
- Bundy in despair: "At least put some ketchup with it!!"
-- Jake drinks six sachets of vinegar, says "I like it" afterwards.
-- Exception to Monday rule discussed with regards to Bundy's veterancy. This will now take place during an unspecified BUNDAY CLUB.
-- Meal to celebrate the life + times of . . . . . BUNDAY!
[Big gap for illegible 'Old Rosie' scrawl]
--- Doggy will become a shit Elvis Presley impersonator.
-- Chrisps hits on moody women.
-- Jake 'the plank' Monday: "Why the long face, Chrisps?"
-- Thoughts are of a Monday festival trip. Bruno behind the bar, "I'll come to Glastonbury with you as long as it doesn't interfere with Monday Club."
Overall, a great Monday considering low expectations for attendance. Account of the news more faithful to the notes than usual. And thank you for the lift, Doggin' Biscuits!
"Orange is the colour of madness"
-- Doggie B got a text
-- (Then got beaten up in Park North for his pizza after opening his window to a comely chav)
-- From now on he will be known as 'Dogging B'.
-- Chrisps' belated birthday Monday Club. 23 yesterday. Elderly. But buff nuff.
-- Matt is buying a horse that he hasn't seen. He has a cake to well. (Trowel?)
-- Next Monday is : - ' NO CAR MONDAY ' (According to D. Biscuits)
-- Chocolate fudge cake is confirmed as THE Monday food.
-- Matt cuts his own cool. Probably cuts his own hair too.
-- Curry B.
-- Nelson Mandela directed Kidulthood.
- Anon. in shock: "Are you eating mayonnaise by itself??"
- Jake in poverty: "Yeah."
- Luke in mirth: "And you call me saucy..."
- Bundy in despair: "At least put some ketchup with it!!"
-- Jake drinks six sachets of vinegar, says "I like it" afterwards.
-- Exception to Monday rule discussed with regards to Bundy's veterancy. This will now take place during an unspecified BUNDAY CLUB.
-- Meal to celebrate the life + times of . . . . . BUNDAY!
[Big gap for illegible 'Old Rosie' scrawl]
--- Doggy will become a shit Elvis Presley impersonator.
-- Chrisps hits on moody women.
-- Jake 'the plank' Monday: "Why the long face, Chrisps?"
-- Thoughts are of a Monday festival trip. Bruno behind the bar, "I'll come to Glastonbury with you as long as it doesn't interfere with Monday Club."
Overall, a great Monday considering low expectations for attendance. Account of the news more faithful to the notes than usual. And thank you for the lift, Doggin' Biscuits!
"Orange is the colour of madness"
13 September 2010
NEWS
- Monday mourns the loss of many members to uni/work. It is the hardy few who remain.
- It was decided that 20th December is dedicated CHRISTMAS MONDAY with a pre-booked xmas meal at the Savoy. More details to come.
- Chris Kelly returns! He is an unsuitable P.E. learning, unemployed version of his brother. His brother probably has a massive penis, although unusually tiny feet for a man of his size.
- 2 x Bruno behind the bar.
- BOWG has a friend, in shorts. He also ordered a chicken gourmet burger. This was considered controversial.
- Cum is just food for sperm, which weezes as it dies.
- Cumming like a hose is not natural.
- Luke bums Leonardo Di Caprio.
- Jake is now named 'Jake Monday' as we only see him on
a monday.
- It is feared that Doggy's household have got stuck in the 1980's as they possess a fax machine. It is rumoured that they all own shit wigs and listen to ABBA.
- It was decided that 20th December is dedicated CHRISTMAS MONDAY with a pre-booked xmas meal at the Savoy. More details to come.
- Chris Kelly returns! He is an unsuitable P.E. learning, unemployed version of his brother. His brother probably has a massive penis, although unusually tiny feet for a man of his size.
- 2 x Bruno behind the bar.
- BOWG has a friend, in shorts. He also ordered a chicken gourmet burger. This was considered controversial.
- Cum is just food for sperm, which weezes as it dies.
- Cumming like a hose is not natural.
- Luke bums Leonardo Di Caprio.
- Jake is now named 'Jake Monday' as we only see him on
a monday.
- It is feared that Doggy's household have got stuck in the 1980's as they possess a fax machine. It is rumoured that they all own shit wigs and listen to ABBA.
6 September 2010
NEWS
Trendy newbies jump on the Monday bandwagon only to fall off long before last orders. Deadly Psychic Monday powers were directed at them. Matt got defensive at the stroke of 9, hastening their demise. The one up, one down game proved beyond their collective intellect.
They were:
Beads, Ginger, Stripey and Denim Shirt. They are in a band together. Beads "the biggest dickhead" failed to down a small glass of Pimm's and cried. The under aged Ginger (17) had to be dragged out of the toilets where he was slumped in his own vomit singing "I'm a Little Tea Pot". Lee instructs him to "Fly your Nimbus 2000 home Ron Weaslie". The episode just goes to show that you don't bring 12 year olds to the pub. Stripey is from Manchester; "Why are you from Manchester?" (Lee)Denim Shirt swallowed a 2 pence piece and we decided not to clean our teeth with our jeans.
JAEGER-TWAT PIMM'S-O-CLOCK
"My hair is the black bit of my black albino body"
After the kids klub krew were defeated, Monday took to the streets of Swindon town, where we got rained on and watched the big screen hum and emit strange electromagnetic frequencies. Once again Monday doesn't end until well after three in the morning.
Bundy took most of the notes as she is "the best at writing and everyone loves Bundy + Annie + Michelle at Monday Club! xxx"
They were:
Beads, Ginger, Stripey and Denim Shirt. They are in a band together. Beads "the biggest dickhead" failed to down a small glass of Pimm's and cried. The under aged Ginger (17) had to be dragged out of the toilets where he was slumped in his own vomit singing "I'm a Little Tea Pot". Lee instructs him to "Fly your Nimbus 2000 home Ron Weaslie". The episode just goes to show that you don't bring 12 year olds to the pub. Stripey is from Manchester; "Why are you from Manchester?" (Lee)Denim Shirt swallowed a 2 pence piece and we decided not to clean our teeth with our jeans.
JAEGER-TWAT PIMM'S-O-CLOCK
"My hair is the black bit of my black albino body"
After the kids klub krew were defeated, Monday took to the streets of Swindon town, where we got rained on and watched the big screen hum and emit strange electromagnetic frequencies. Once again Monday doesn't end until well after three in the morning.
Bundy took most of the notes as she is "the best at writing and everyone loves Bundy + Annie + Michelle at Monday Club! xxx"
30 August 2010
NEWS
This Monday will be known as 'Psychic Food Day'
Everyone was hungry and ate well, especially the weary Reading festival contingent. Enhanced powers of foresight were conferred upon the gluttonous. This extended to accurate predictions of next Monday through the door.
Following the foody theme, jam was brought by a new Monday. It was damsen-based and motherly.
A bet was made concerning the next monarch of England. Doggy B wins if it's anyone other than Cheeky Charlie.
Someone (Shep?) got bitten on the nipple by a rabbit and discussed this at length with graphic demonstrations. "At least you got that off your chest", said witty Jake.
Sounds as if Monday the 6th will be a big one!
Everyone was hungry and ate well, especially the weary Reading festival contingent. Enhanced powers of foresight were conferred upon the gluttonous. This extended to accurate predictions of next Monday through the door.
Following the foody theme, jam was brought by a new Monday. It was damsen-based and motherly.
A bet was made concerning the next monarch of England. Doggy B wins if it's anyone other than Cheeky Charlie.
Someone (Shep?) got bitten on the nipple by a rabbit and discussed this at length with graphic demonstrations. "At least you got that off your chest", said witty Jake.
Sounds as if Monday the 6th will be a big one!
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